The Self-lmage: Your Key to Living Without Limits Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance. A revolution in psychology began in the late s and exploded in the s. When I wrote the first edition of Psycho-Cybernetics in , I was at the forefront of a sweeping change in the fields of psychology, psychiatry, and medicine.
New theories and concepts concerning the "self" began emerging from the work and findings of clinical psychologists, prac- ticing psychiatrists, and even cosmetic or so-called "plastic surgeons" like myself. New methods growing out of these findings resulted in dramatic changes in personality, in health, and even in basic abilities and talents.
Chronic failures became successful. Shy, retiring, inhibited personalities became happy and outgoing. James summarized these results obtained by various psychologists and MDs as follows: Understanding the psychology of the self can mean the differ- ence between success and failure, love and hate, bitterness and happi- ness. The discovery of the real self can rescue a crumbling marriage, recreate a faltering career, transform victims of "personality failure.
This was barely predictive of everything that has occurred in the four decades that followed. When Psycho-Cybernetics was first published, if you visited a bookstore to obtain a copy, you might have found it nestled on an obscure shelf with only a dozen or so other so-called "self-help" books. Today, of course, "self-help" is one of the largest sections in the entire bookstore.
Psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists have pro- liferated, new specialists have emerged, such as sports psychologists and corporate performance coaches, and the stigma of seeking such help has disappeared to such an extent that in some circles doing so is trendy.
Self-help psychology has become so popular it even has found a place in television infomercials! Once Difficult, Now Easy! I'm gratified that much of this modern explosion of ideas, informa- tion, and people to assist you with everything from conquering pro- crastination to shaving strokes off your golf score appears to be based on Psycho-Cybernetics.
You might say that my original work was ahead of its time, or you might say that it has aged well. Whatever you conclude, the most important thing for you, personally, is that the fun- damental promise of Psycho-Cybernetics has been proven true beyond any doubt or argument-that is, "once difficult, now easy.
Your Secret Blueprint I would argue that the most important psychological discovery of modern times is the discovery of the self-image. By understanding your self-image and by learning to modify it and manage it to suit your purposes, you gain incredible confidence and power. Whether we realize it or not, each of us carries within us a men- tal blueprint or picture of ourselves.
In fact, it may not be consciously recognizable at all. But it is there, complete down to the last detail. This self-image is our own conception of the "sort of person I am. Most of these beliefs about our- selves have unconsciously been formed from our past experiences, our successes and failures, our humiliations, our triumphs, and the way other people have reacted to us, especially in early childhood.
From all these we mentally construct a self or a picture of a self. Once an idea or a belief about ourselves goes into this picture it becomes "truth," as far as we personally are concerned. We do not question its validity, but proceed to act upon it just as if it were true. The self-image then controls what you can and cannot accomplish, what is difficult or easy for you, even how others respond to you just as certainly and scientifically as a thermostat controls the temperature in your home.
Specifically, all your actions, feelings, behavior, even your abili- ties, are always consistent with this self-image. Note the word: always. In short, you will "act like" the sort of person you conceive yourself to be.
More important, you literally cannot act otherwise, in spite of all your conscious efforts or willpower. This is why trying to achieve something difficult with teeth gritted is a losing battle. Willpower is not the answer. Self-image management is. The Snap-Back Effect The person who has a "fat" self-image-whose self-image claims to have a "sweet tooth," to be unable to resist "junk food," who cannot find the time to exercise-will be unable to lose weight and keep it off no matter what he tries to do consciously in opposition to that self- image.
You cannot long outperform or escape your self-image. If you do escape briefly, you'll be "snapped back," like a rubber band, extended between two fingers, coming loose from one. The person who perceives himself to be a "failure type person" will find some way to fail, in spite of all his good intentions or his willpower, even if opportunity is literally dumped in his lap. The person who con- ceives himself to be a victim of injustice, one "who was meant to suffer," will invariably find circumstances to verify his opinions.
You can insert any specific into this: your golf game, sales career, public speaking, weight loss, relationships. The control of your self- image is absolute and pervasive. The snapback effect is universal. The self-image is a "premise," a base, or a foundation upon which your entire personality, your behavior, and even your circum- stances are built.
As a result, our experiences seem to verify and thereby strengthen our self-images, and either a vicious or a benefi- cent cycle, as the case may be, is set up. For example, a student who sees himself as an "F"-type student, or one who is "dumb in mathematics," will invariably find that his report card bears him out. He then has "proof. Whatever is difficult for you, whatever frustrations you have in your life, they are likely "proving" and reinforcing something ingrained in your self- image like a groove in a record.
Because of this objective "proof," it very seldom occurs to us that our trouble lies in our self-image or our own evaluation of ourselves. Tell the student that he only "thinks" he cannot master algebra, and he will doubt your sanity. He has tried and tried, and still his report card tells the story.
Tell the sales agent that it is only an idea that she can- not earn more than a certain figure, and she can prove you wrong by her order book. She knows only too well how hard she has tried and failed.
Yet, as we shall see, almost miraculous changes have occurred both in grades of students and the earning capacity of salespeople- once they were prevailed upon to change their self-images. Obviously, it's not enough to say "it's all in your head. It is more productive to explain that "it" is based on certain ingrained, possibly hidden patterns of thought that, if altered, will free you to tap more of your potential and experience vastly dif- ferent results. This brings me to the most important truth about the self-image: It can be changed.
Numerous case histories have shown that you are never too young or too old to change your self-image and start to live a new, amazingly different life. Picture us living inside two boxes. The line farthest out, the solid line, represents real or realistic limits. The dot- ted line, in the first drawing shown tightly confining Self, represents self-imposed limits.
The area between the two is your area or range of under-utilized potential. As you discover the means of strengthening and liberating your self-image, you move the dotted line closer to the solid line, permitting greater use of your true potential.
Success from the Inside Out, Not the Outside In One of the reasons it seems so difficult for a person to change habits, personality, or a way of life has been that nearly all efforts at change have been directed to the circumference of the self, so to speak, rather than to the center. Numerous patients have said to me something like the following: "If you are talking about 'positive thinking,' I've tried that before, and it just doesn't work for me.
But they never thought to change their thinking of the self that was to accomplish these things. Jesus warned us about the folly of putting a patch of new mate- rial on an old garment or of putting new wine into old bottles. Numerous experiments have shown that, once the concept of self is changed, other things consistent with the new concept of self are accomplished easily and without strain.
A System of Ideas One of the earliest and most convincing experiments along this line was conducted by the late Prescott Lecky, one of the pioneers in self- image psychology. Lecky conceived of the personality as a system of ideas, all of which must be consistent with each other. Ideas that are inconsistent with the system are rejected, "not believed," and not acted on. Ideas that seem to be consistent with the system are accepted.
At the very center of this system of ideas-the keystone, or the base on which all else is built-is the individual's self-image, or his conception of himself. Lecky was a school teacher and had an opportunity to test his theory on thousands of students. He theorized that if a student had trouble learning a certain subject, it could be because from the stu- dent's point of view it would be inconsistent for him to learn it. Lecky believed, however, that if the student could be induced to change his self-definition, his learning ability should also change.
This proved to be the case. One student, who misspelled 55 words out of and flunked so many subjects that he lost credit for a year, made a general average of 91 the next year and became one of the best spellers in school. A girl who was dropped from one college because of poor grades, entered Columbia and became a straight "A" student. A boy who was told by a testing bureau that he had no apti- tude for English won honorable mention the next year for a literary pnze.
The trouble with these students was not that they were dumb or lacking in basic aptitudes. The trouble was an inadequate self-image "I don't have a mathematical mind"; "I'm just naturally a poor speller".
They "identified" with their mistakes and failures. Instead of saying "I failed that test" factual and descriptive , they concluded "I am a failure. Ledey also used the same method to cure students of such habits as nail biting and stuttering. My own files contain case histories just as convincing: the woman who was so afraid of strangers that she seldom ventured out of the house and who now makes her living as a public speaker.
The sales- man who had already prepared a letter of resignation because he "just wasn't cut out for selling" and six months later was number one man on a force of one hundred salespeople. The minister who was consid- ering retirement because "nerves" and the pressure of preparing a ser- mon every week were getting him down, and who now delivers an average of three "outside talks" a week in addition to his weekly ser- mons and doesn't know he has a nerve in his body.
Following Dr. Lecky's breakthrough thinking on this subject, born from observation, as well as my own observations and thoughts chronicled in the earlier editions of this book, a mountain of more sophisticated scientific research and anecdotal evidence has led to the acceptance of the controlling self-image by most of the academic psy- chological community.
Yet, it was the work of the plastic surgeon that first hinted at the existence of the self-image and raised certain ques- tions that led to important psychological knowledge. When I first began the practice of plastic surgery many years ago, I was amazed by the dramatic and sudden changes in character and personality that often resulted when a facial defect was corrected.
Changing the physical image in many instances appeared to create an entirely new person. In case after case, the scalpel that I held in my hand became a magic wand that transformed not only patients' appearance, but their whole life. The shy and retiring became bold and coura- geous.
A "stupid" boy changed into an alert, bright youngster who went on to become an executive with a prominent firm. And perhaps the most startling of all was the habitual "hardened" criminal who changed almost overnight from an incorri- gible-who had never showed any desire to change-into a model prisoner, who won a parole and went on to assume a responsible role in society. Some sixty years ago I reported many such case histories in my book New Faces-New Futures, written more for my peers than the public.
Following its publication, and similar articles in leading maga- zines, I was besieged with questions by criminologists, psychologists, sociologists, and psychiatrists. They asked questions that I could not answer, but they did start me on a search. Strangely enough, I learned as much from my failures as from my successes, if not more. It was easy to explain the successes. The boy with the too-big ears, who had been told that he looked like a taxi cab with both doors open, had been ridiculed all his life-often cruelly.
Association with others meant humiliation and pain. Why shouldn't he avoid social contacts? Why shouldn't he become afraid of people and retire into himself? Terribly afraid to express himself in any way, he became known as "stupid.
Or consider the salesman who suffered a facial disfigurement as the result of an automobile accident. Each morning when he shaved he could see the horrible disfiguring scar on his cheek and the grotesque twist to his mouth. For the first time in his life he became painfully self-conscious. He was ashamed of himself and felt that his appearance must be repulsive to others.
The scar became an obsession with him. He was "different" from other people. He began to wonder what others were thinking of him. Soon his self-image was even more mutilated than his face. He began to lose confidence in himself. He became bitter and hostile. Soon almost all his attention was directed toward himself, and his primary goal became the protection of his ego and the avoidance of situations that might bring humiliation.
It is easy to understand how the correction of his facial disfigurement and the restoration of a "normal" face would overnight change this man's entire attitude and outlook, his feelings about himself, resulting in greater success in his work.
The mystery inspired me: If the scalpel was magic, why did some people who acquired new faces go right on wearing their old personalities?
Although surgery gave her a classic nose and a face that was truly beautiful, she contin- ued to act the part of the ugly duckling, the unwanted sister who could never bring herself to look another human being in the eye. If the scalpel itself was magic, why did it not work on the Duchess? Or what about all the others who acquired new faces but went right on wearing the same old personality?
How to explain the reac- tion of people who insist that the surgery has made no difference what- ever in their appearance? Every plastic surgeon has had this experience and has probably been as baffled by it as I was. No matter how drastic the change in appearance may be, certain patients will insist that "I look just the same as before-you didn't do a thing.
Comparison of before and after photo- graphs does little good, and may even arouse hostility. Scars That Bring Pride Instead of Shame Still another clue in search of the elusive self-image is the fact that not all scars or disfigurements bring shame and humiliation.
The duelists were the elite of college society and a facial scar was the badge that proved you a member in good standing. I began to see that a knife itself held no magical powers. It could be used on one person to inflict a scar and on another to erase a scar with the same psychological results. The Mystery of Imaginary Ugliness To a person handicapped by a genuine congenital defect, or suffering an actual facial disfigurement as a result of an accident, plastic surgery can indeed seemingly perform magic.
From such cases it would be easy to theorize that the cure-all for all neuroses, unhappiness, failure, fear, anxiety, and lack of self-confidence would be wholesale plastic surgery to remove all bodily defects.
However, according to this the- ory, persons with normal or acceptable faces should be singularly free from all psychological handicaps. They should be cheerful, happy, self-confident, free from anxiety and worry. We know only too well this is not true. Nor can such a theory explain the people who visit the office of a cosmetic surgeon and demand a face lift to cure a purely imaginary ugliness.
There are, for example, the to year-old women who are convinced that they look "old" even though their appearance is perfectly normal and in many cases unusually attractive. There are the young girls who are convinced that they are ugly merely because their mouth, nose, or bust measurement does not exactly match that of the currently reigning Hollywood celebrity, teen pop star, or the most popular girl in their school.
There are men who believe that their ears are too big or their noses too long. Such imagined ugliness is not at all uncommon. Yet surveys have shown that approximately the same percentage of our general population find some reason to be ashamed of their body image. Of course, in some cases, this becomes constructive dissatisfac- tion that motivates healthy weight loss and exercise.
These people reactjust as if they suffered an actual disfigurement. They feel the same shame. They develop the same fears and anxieties. Their capacity to really "live" fully is blocked and choked by the same sort of psychologic roadblocks.
Their "scars," though mental and emotional rather than physical, are just as debilitating. Why Are the Rich and Powerful Unhappy?
Why do the popular, successful, wealthy "beautiful people" of Hollywood, athletes awarded megamillion-dollar contracts and set for life, and enormously influential and powerful business or political leaders engage in amazingly unhappy and self-sabotaging acts of alco- hol or drug abuse and addiction, or in all manner of publicly humili- ating and destructive behavior? You see it reported everyday. And they still wake up in the morning and say 'I don't feel good about myself. Stephen Goldbart, a psy- chologist treating many dot.
The Self-Image-The Real Secret Discovery of the self-image explains all the apparent discrepancies we have been discussing. It is the common denominator-the determining factor in all our case histories, the failures as well as the successes.
The secret is this: To really live, that is to find life reasonably sat- isfying, you must have an adequate and realistic self-image that you can live with. You must find your self acceptable to you. You must have a wholesome self-esteem. You must have a self that you can trust and believe in. You must know yourself-both your strengths and your weaknesses-and be honest with yourself concerning both. Your self- image must be a reasonable approximation of "you," being neither more nor less than you are.
You feel free to be yourself and to express yourself. You function at your optimum. Creative expression is blocked. You become hostile and hard to get along with. If a scar on the face enhances the self-image as in the case of the German duelist , self-esteem and self-confidence are increased. If a scar on the face detracts from the self-image as in the case of the salesman , loss of self-esteem and self-confidence result. Sometimes the image of a disfigured self persists even after successful surgery, much the same as the "phantom limb" may continue to feel pain years after the physical arm or leg has been amputated.
I Begin a New Career These observations led me into a new career. In or so, I became definitively convinced that many of the people who consult a plastic surgeon need more than surgery and that some do not need surgery at all. If I were to treat these people as patients, as a whole person rather than as merely a nose, ear, mouth, arm or leg, I needed to be in a posi- tion to give them something more.
I needed to be able to show them how to obtain a psychological, emotional, and spiritual face lift, how to remove emotional scars, how to channel their attitudes and thoughts as well as modify their physical appearance. This determination launched me on a continuing process of pointed observation, documenting my own case histories, lecturing both to peers and to the public, then writing this book, first published in This book caught the public's imagination in a special way.
Its success led quickly to many speaking engagements, seminar tours, radio and television interviews, even my own radio program. Invitations to speak about my discoveries came from churches, col- leges, and corporations. Late in my life, three decades after its first publication, I was gratified that Psycho-Cybernetics continues to sell tens of thousands of copies each year, almost entirely thanks to word-of-mouth recommendations, and is inspiring new interpretations.
With each passing year, as I accumulated more experience teach- ing the power of self-image, counseling, and monitoring the results people achieved with this information, I became more convinced than ever that what each of us really wants, deep down, is more life-some- thing I termed aliveness, the experience of living a life unrestricted by self-image-imposed, artificial limits.
Happiness, success, peace of mind-whatever your own conception of supreme good may be-is experienced in its essence as more life. When we experience expansive emotions of happiness, self-confidence, and success, we enjoy more life. And to the degree that we inhibit our abilities, frustrate our God- given talents, and allow ourselves to suffer anxiety, fear, self-condem- nation and self-hate, we literally choke off the life force available to us and turn our back on the gift that our Creator has made.
To the degree that we deny the gift of life, we embrace death. Your New Program for Liberated Living In my opinion, the professions of psychology and psychiatry are often far too pessimistic regarding people and their potential for self- directed change, even greatness. Since psychologists and psychiatrists deal with so-called "abnormal" people, the literature is almost exclu- sively taken up with various abnormalities, with some people's ten- dencies toward self-destruction. Average persons feel awfully weak and impotent when they think of the prospect of pit- ting their puny will against these negative forces in human nature, in order to gain health and happiness.
If this were a true picture of human nature and the human condition, self-improvement would indeed be a rather futile thing. However, I believe-and the experiences of my many patients have confirmed the fact-that you do not have to do the job alone. There is within each one of us a life instinct, which is forever working toward health, happiness, and all that makes for more life for the indi- vidual. This life instinct works for you through what I call the Creative Mechanism or, when used correctly, the Automatic Success Mechanism that is built into each human being.
In this book, I will endeavor to give you very practical ideas and instructions for liberating your own self-image, fully activating your own Automatic Success Mechanism. If you will give all this a reason- able chance, I'm confident you too will be pleasantly amazed at all the positive changes you will experience.
New Scientific Insights into the Subconscious Mind There is admittedly debate about the actual, structural makeup of the human mind. Crammed into your brain are more neurons than there are stars in the Milky Way, hundreds of billions of them-an unimag- inable number. Each of these neurons receives input from tens of thousands of the other neurons and sends messages to tens of thou- sands of others, adding up to over one million-billion connections.
In his book about the brain, Bright Air, Brilliant Fire, neuroscientist Gerald Edelman speculated that if you were to attempt counting the links, one per second, you might finish 32 million years later. The operation is something roughly akin to your clicking on the "you've got mail" beeping icon on your computer and finding 10, or 20, e-mail messages that require sorting, prioritizing, organiz- ing, and responding to, just to get everything right so that you can accomplish the first simple task of your day, such as tying your shoelaces.
You would "melt down" at the prospect, but your brain han- dles it in nanoseconds with aplomb. The brain is roughly three pounds, yet it contains the equivalent of entire cities full of giant buildings full of computer circuitry. It is surely the most complex and amazing thing we will ever discover. And it is still a frontier because research keeps uncovering new revelations about how the human mind operates.
On top of the "mechanical" aspects, there are psychological and spiritual matters, the issue of mind as the pathway to the soul, the con- scious and subconscious, the Freudian concept of id, the idea of three operating systems rather than two reptilian, limbic, and cerebral , left brain-right brain, and on and on. My take on all this has been criticized by some as simplistic. It's possible that research continuing long after my departure will eventu- ally demonstrate that I've been partly right and partly wrong, and will produce even better insights into practical self-improvement.
If and when that occurs, I'd applaud. But for now, let me just say that to you it shouldn't matter much whether some professor of psychology with lots of letters after his name looks down his nose at what we are dis- cussing as oversimplistic.
Let's you and I focus on the most important point: what works. And I can assure you that what we are discussing here has worked for thousands and thousands and thousands of peo- ple, and will work for you. If you see a Google Drive link instead of source url, means that the file witch you will get after approval is just a summary of original book or the file has been already removed.
Loved each and every part of this book. I will definitely recommend this book to psychology, self help lovers. Great book, Psycho-Cybernetics, Updated and Expanded pdf is enough to raise the goose bumps alone. Your Rating:. How it works, how it can be controlled in different ways, and how it can help someone achieve his ultimate goal and dreams. It explains that anyone can achieve his goal by a productive mind.
The author has given some important advice and tips related to the mind. He also tells us how to make mind productive and work according to our goals. He discusses how to keep a perfect balance between the mind and the body to get productive. With different examples in the book, the author has explained everything perfectly and extensively for the reader to understand perfectly.
The book creates a quick emotional connection with the reader. Advanced embedding details, examples, and help! Reviewer: daveid - favorite - October 22, Subject: difficult read I was excited to find this here. I downloaded. It slows down reading speed as I try and decipher what the actual word is. If it can be uploaded again with clearer type that would be great.
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